My Amazon Meltdown

I know that Amazon has horrible labor practices so I feel guilty every time I click on Add to Cart or Buy now with 1-Click! And yet, like the terrible hypocrite I am, I buy tons of stuff from them. It’s so easy and they have everything: 18-month pajamas, infographic books, and folding chairs? Check, click! I’m so deeply committed to having my crap mailed to me that I pay a yearly fee to be Prime and get free shipping on almost everything. I watch Alpha House and Transparency (free on Amazon Prime!).

Despite the massive amount of junk that I’ve purchased over the years (both necessary and unnecessary), until today I had never submitted a review. The crazy part is I love the reviews: I make most of my purchasing decisions based on them. Can’t decide which scooter to buy a five-year old? I guarantee at least 100 grandmas have submitted reviews on scooters they bought their grandkids. (Seriously grandparents are the most prodigious Amazon reviewers, I guess it’s because they have lots of time on their retired hands.)

Anyhow, in April I bought a new printer. I had been warned about all-in-ones, but that was like 10 years ago right? In 2004 I had a sweet blue flip phone, which could only make phone calls. Now I can basically summon magical unicorns with my iphone. So, if computers have come a long way, surely printers must have too! Um, no. Printers are still as crappy as they were when I was an intern in college and constantly called upon to clear paper jams. Perhaps today’s printers are actually worse.  I had my post-grad school printer for 8 years, and I had this printer, the HP M177FW Wireless Laserjet with Scanner, Copier and Fax for 7 months. This product has driven me to shaking, uncontrolled rage.

First, let me say, I read about a million Amazon printer reviews as well as going to various tech sites with printer recommendations. After the great collapse of my HP M177FW, I went back and looked again. Do you know when people review printers? RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX. Of course it works when you hook it up. Let’s see some reviews 6 months, 1 year, 2 years later. Truth is, most people can’t be bothered. It’s so cheap and easy to buy new stuff, we just chalk it up as more disposible junk in our lives. But let me tell you, I was bothered. This shoddy product inspired me to write my first Amazon review (scathing obviously) so, um take that HP!